we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
