God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
