No subtext here. People are naked.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
