I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize