I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Randomize
