I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
