yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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