what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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