She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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