wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Will exercising make me less horny?
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