Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
