Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
