Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
