On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
