dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
