Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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