Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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