why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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