If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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