Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
