What did we do last night that was yellow?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
