I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
