when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
