I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
