tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
