You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize