make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
