we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize