If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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