Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize