this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
