We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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