No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
