I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
