Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
