I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
