Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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