i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
