So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
