Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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