He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
