What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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