Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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