Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
