I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
