Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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