My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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