I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
