Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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