ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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