Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
