I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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