Non-Jews are for practice
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize