chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize