Im at strip club and am horny
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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