I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
