So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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