Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I know her cup size but not her name....
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