I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
