He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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