You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Alive.
So much puke
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
