i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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