and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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