I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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