TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
