I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
