You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
