Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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