In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
