your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
