you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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