i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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