Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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