I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
