I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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