Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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