Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
